How Jeff Brazier steered sons through ‘insane’ grief & feud with Jade’s mum… & the crushing remark that cut him to core
Jeff was left hurt when the boys became teenagers and lashed out
WHEN Jade Goody tragically died of cervical cancer aged just 27, her ex Jeff Brazier became both mum and dad to their young sons.
At the age of just 30 himself, heartbroken Jeff had to break the news of their mum’s death to five-year-old Bobby and Freddie, then four.
Then, he had to take on the responsibility of bringing up the grieving youngsters his own way whilst keeping their mum’s memory very much alive.
And nobody could say he hasn’t done a stellar job. The boys and their dad have an incredible bond – with Bobby and Freddie full of praise for their dad’s parenting skills.
EastEnders star Bobby, now 21, is a household name after a stint on Strictly Come Dancing, and now his younger brother Freddie, 19, is getting his moment in the spotlight taking part in Celebrity Race Across the World with dad Jeff.
And like the parent of any teenager, Jeff is hoping the time spent together with Freddie will bring them even closer.
On tonight’s opening episode of the BBC One show’s second series, TV host Jeff says: “The thing I’m most looking forward to is I feel like I’m going to learn a lot more about my son.
“He isn’t at home loads and as a result I don’t see loads of him, but the beauty of this trip is that he’s with me and he can’t shake me off.”
Shipwrecked contestant Jeff and Big Brother star Jade started dating in 2002 and very quickly had their two sons.
But the pressures of juggling their relationship, work and parenthood in the public eye took its toll, and they split when the boys were just babies.
Jade was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2008 while appearing on the Indian version of Big Brother, and immediately flew back to the UK for treatment.
But she was soon told it was terminal and Jeff, now 45, recalls how she bravely told their boys that she was dying.
“It’s insanely unfair that they were robbed of someone that was such an incredible mum. I remember when Jade very bravely told them that she was going to be in heaven,” he said.
“For six months after that they were absolutely all over the place. From the moment your children are born and you hold them in your arms and you realise how small and fragile they are, I think you immediately become their protector.
“I very quickly realised that I was going to be responsible for the boys, for the rest of their childhood.”
It is a responsibility he took very seriously, aware that he had a dual role to fulfil now that Jade had gone.
The worst possible thing I’ve heard from both boys would be: ‘I wish it was you that was dead and not mum’
Jeff Brazier
“I’ve morphed into something quite different from your average dad,” he later said.
“I’m probably far more sensitive to their feelings and I’m far more aware of when they need emotional support.
“There are little side effects of my situation where you become really good at doing quite a lot on your own. I’ve got an ability to push myself beyond tiredness because if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done.”
But bringing up grieving and confused boys wasn’t without its challenges.
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Jeff, who is now a passionate campaigner for support for grieving children, admitted the boys would often hit out – and as the one closest to them he often took the brunt.
He explained: “The worst possible thing I’ve heard from both boys would be: ‘I wish it was you that was dead and not mum.’
“My expectation was always that they’d take things out on me but I didn’t know to what extent. I didn’t know as they grew older, what would be possible to come out of their mouths.
“Grief generates the worst possible feelings, it really clouds your judgement. The words they come out with they’re not always in control of and they’re just saying them because what they’re actually trying to say is ‘Dad, help me’.”
The devoted dad has made sure he keeps Jade alive in the boys’ memory and, in March 2023, on the 14th anniversary of her death, he wrote: “The boys losing the most loving and protective mother any child could have hoped for at such a young age will never not feel ridiculously cruel.
“The most charismatic, loyal, inquisitive, adaptable and switched-on person I’ve known. Her strength lives on in her children and I wanted to take a moment to honour her this evening and share that with you.”
New love
After years concentrating on his boys’ happiness, Jeff found love again in 2013 with PR consultant Kate Dwyer and they wed in 2018.
Kate quickly embraced her role as stepmum to Bobby and Freddie, with Jeff singing her praises saying: “We’ve all learnt to adjust to each other.
“Kate has adjusted very well now to becoming a stepmum and what it entails.
“And the sacrifices that have to be made in order to give the children what they need first and foremost.”
But the couple’s relationship hit a rocky patch and they briefly split in 2022 before getting back together and Kate was a regular in the Strictly Come Dancing audience last year, cheering on stepson Bobby and partner Dianne Buswell.
Touching tribute
Proud dad Jeff was particularly emotional when Bobby dedicated his moving Couple’s Choice routine danced to Maxwell’s This Woman’s Work, to the memory of Jade.
In a video clip before he performed, Bobby said: “I’d love to spend a day with her just to see where I get my smile from.”
Jeff Brazier spoke about how “loss makes you grow closer”, adding “I’m the lucky one, I’m the one who gets to bring the boys up, I’m the one who gets to watch him on Strictly. It brings so much joy to my life.”
One person who wasn’t able to watch him in the Strictly studio was the boys’ grandma, Jade’s mum Jackiey Budden, amid rumours of a feud with Jeff.
I look like my mum, I’m always being told that by everyone. I have her lips and smile – and her eyes
Bobby Brazier
Jeff had previously hit out at Jackiey saying she had ‘overstated’ how much time she spent with his sons.
And after being snubbed for a place in the audience for the live Strictly TV shows, proud nan Jackiey travelled to Newcastle to watch Bobby in the tour and was spotted wiping away tears as he danced.
Bobby has already proven himself to be a man of many talents – taking his first steps into showbiz as a model, then an acting role as Freddie Slater in EastEnders, followed by a storming performance in Strictly.
Mother’s son
Bobby attributes his modelling success to his late mum, as he previously talked of having inherited her “lips, smile and eyes.”
“I look like my mum, I’m always being told that by everyone. I have her lips and smile – and her eyes,” he said. “The rest of me is dad’s. As I grow up I’m starting to look more like him.”
And humble Bobby was the first to credit his dad when he collected a National Television Award for his work on EastEnders.
Bobby said in his acceptance speech: “This actually has very, very, very little to do with me and everything to do with my dad.
“Over the course of the last twenty years, I have consistently heard him say ‘because I can’. It was a mantra or a motto of his, and him just saying that it’s… Because I can.”
He then added: “I feel so privileged and I feel like I’m a very little part of this award. I’m blessed. My dad cried, I think I’m going to cry when I see him.
“I just want to go and give him a hug now to be honest. I just want to go and hand this award to my dad because it’s all because of him.”
And Jeff is always ready to sing his boys’ praises and give them the confidence boost they need to succeed.
Ahead of Bobby’s performance in the Strictly final, he wrote on social media: “For what it’s worth, most of us could only dream of doing some of the things you’ve already packed into the four years since you left school! Proud is not the word!
“I hope you soak up every last drop of your experience of the final tomorrow night, especially knowing how far you’ve come to earn the right to be there.”
Staying grounded
But like any good parent, he has always made sure that on the flip side he keeps the boys grounded and doesn’t let fame or success go to their heads.
During Bobby’s Strictly stint he said: “As much as Bobby’s a dancer on Strictly these days, when he comes home, there’s a wash in the tumble dryer that I want him to fold up or I want him to help me to make dinner.
“These things just keep him grounded. I definitely feel like that’s a big, big role. I need to make sure Bob has a balance and doesn’t necessarily let himself float away.
“Although things are great, and we celebrate that, we also make sure we come back to being humble and making sure that as a family, we’re all there for one another.”
Given big brother Bobby’s success, it is no wonder Freddie wants to try his hand at TV, following in the footsteps of both his mum and dad.
Unending support
And no matter which path he takes, as always, he has the steadfast support of dad Jeff.
“Freddie has never loved school,” Jeff explained. “He’s not particularly academic. But I know that Freddie has some incredible traits and I know that his future will be absolutely wonderful, just simply because of his depth of emotional intelligence. And his caringness and consideration for others, that’s all through the roof.
“So I know that he’s going to be absolutely fine and be able to carve out whatever he wants to do.”
But the headstrong teenager wants to do things his own way – and has vowed never to do Big Brother or Strictly, declaring those his mum and brother’s domains.
Speaking about his first foray into TV on Race Across the World, Freddie declared: “I’m great at finding places without a map! I somehow always get to where I want to be.”
And given the family’s history of TV success and support from his dad and brother, it would be no surprise if that is as a prime time TV star.
